Kurt Cobain’s Suicide Note

Kurt Cobain's Handwritten Suicide Note

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!

133 responses

  1. That is sad. What is even sadder is I only live 100 miles away from his home town of aberdeen WA I wish that he was alive to see how much people LOVE him I love him alot. If he was alive I would move to aberdeen so I could meet him and go to his concerts to bad I was only 6 when he died. I also do not think that it was suicide if you know what I talking about. R.I.P KURT you are loved(:

  2. kurt is an influence in my life. His music soothes me, and for once in my life, I now that someone understands…but he was murdered, he didn’t commit suicide!(www.justice for kurt.com) e-mail me at (www.kayla_christian04@yahoo.com)

  3. Nirvana was by far the greatest band, and Kurt was the backbone of that with his strong lyrics and his attitude. He was one of the greatest guitarist/singers of the 90’s and his legacy will live on through his masterpieces of music. I do beleive as well, that he was murdered, but if it was suicide, that still doesn’t change what he did and who he was. And he will live on forever with his music…

  4. Kurt is an AWESOME musician. One of a kind, he was brilliant. For those of you that think that Kurt committed suicide, you should really read some of the books for instince, Hank Harrison wrote a book on how he believes that his daughter (Courtney Love) had something to do it. And what about another “suicide” Kristen Pfaff. Kristen was planning on leaving Hole and CL the day before she died. She had her U-Haul all packed up and was going back to Minneapolis and the night before she was to leave she found dead. She drowned in her bath tub. She crossed CL. I have read books and books about all this and not one ounce of me believes that Kurt killed himself. I could go on and on but I won’t, read some books. You’ll see! Kurt you rock my world Always and Forever. We’ll meet in the end. Rock on!

  5. Sorry, Kristen died from a heroin overdose as well, she did not drown. She died in the bath tub though. Look into all this you would not believe what you read! Check out the interview with El Duce on this topic and see what happens to him.

  6. reading this makes kurt cobain and courtney loves whole love story such a tragedy. fukk all you bitches who are saying its courtney loves fault. personally i agree with courtney love when she says kurt was an asshole. sorry girls most of you still dont know wassup. courtney love loved him…but how will you feel if a rock star loved you? really you? not all the other girls in the crowd…they were just fans…but yet that big rockstar still loves the fans too..we dont really know the fights they went through…i bet drugs and comedowns were wat caused them in the first place. kurt cobain and courtney love LOVED eachother…girls we need to accept it. kurt cobain has such a passion and spirit that still remains everytime you hear a nirvana song. i think he and courtney made such a beautiful couple. both of them living the ultimate grunge life, rock and roll love. yea courtney love is crazy and iam sure kurt cobain was too….but if ne of you guys actually listen to hole and read her lyrics then u will see how beautiful courtney love’s soul is even till this day. you will see why kurt cobain had her…and ihave a big admiration for her still living through all she did and still trying to keep frances on her side. yea she may have drug problems.. big fucken deal!! everyone and their moms are doing drugs…so all you girls saying its courtney love fault you should stop being so cynical! yea kurt cobain was hott and his music was great and the fact that he killed himself is very sad, but iam sure nonone really felt the pain as hard as his real loved ones that knew him. and remember behind a great man a woman stands …so all the insparation kurt cobain gives is wonderful..but wat made it is more great was how he loved the world so much..just not himself. which is very understandable since the world is such a bitch but you still gotta love it. sometimes though when people do drugs it really affects how shitty their bodies feel. that they cant stand it anymore…my overall theory was that kurt cobain shot himself in the head because of the overdose the amount of heroin a human body can stand. kurt cobain knew already what he was doing. he knew he was great but then he believed he wasnt so he rather killed himself while being super high in nirvana. so….all you dumbasses keep believing he was murdered by a goddess that loved him,,,,apparently most of you dont really know watsupp.
    i have been a loyal fan to nirvana for 6 years now..
    so all i gotta really rite here is
    RIP
    kurt cobain
    your presence will still remain<3

  7. reading this makes kurt cobain and courtney loves whole love story such a tragedy. fukk all you bitches who are saying its courtney loves fault. personally i agree with courtney love when she says kurt was an asshole. sorry girls most of you still dont know wassup. courtney love loved him…but how will you feel if a rock star loved you? really you? not all the other girls in the crowd…they were just fans…but yet that big rockstar still loves the fans too..we dont really know the fights they went through…i bet drugs and comedowns were wat caused them in the first place. kurt cobain and courtney love LOVED eachother…girls we need to accept it. kurt cobain has such a passion and spirit that still remains everytime you hear a nirvana song. i think he and courtney made such a beautiful couple. both of them living the ultimate grunge life, rock and roll love. yea courtney love is crazy and iam sure kurt cobain was too….but if ne of you guys actually listen to hole and read her lyrics then u will see how beautiful courtney love’s soul is even till this day. you will see why kurt cobain had her…and ihave a big admiration for her still living through all she did and still trying to keep frances on her side. yea she may have drug problems.. big fucken deal!! everyone and their moms are doing drugs…so all you girls saying its courtney love fault you should stop being so cynical! yea kurt cobain was hott and his music was great and the fact that he killed himself is very sad, but iam sure nonone really felt the pain as hard as his real loved ones that knew him. and remember behind a great man a woman stands …so all the insparation kurt cobain gives is wonderful..but wat made it is more great was how he loved the world so much..just not himself. which is very understandable since the world is such a bitch but you still gotta love it. sometimes though when people do drugs it really affects how shitty their bodies feel. that they cant stand it anymore…my overall theory was that kurt cobain shot himself in the head because of the overdose the amount of heroin a human body can stand. kurt cobain knew already what he was doing. he knew he was great but then he believed he wasnt so he rather killed himself while being super high in nirvana. so….all you dumbasses keep believing he was murdered by a goddess that loved him,,,,apparently most of you dont really know watsupp.
    i have been a loyal fan to nirvana for 6 years now..
    so all i gotta really rite here is
    RIP
    kurt cobain
    your presence will still remain<3

  8. kurt,
    your music changed the lives of millions of people and changed music as we know it today with your words and your sound to ends that many will never understand. every appril 8th i celebrate my birth…and also mourn your death…as an amazing person and song writer..i pray for you and take even just a moment to remember you always

  9. kurt…….nobody knows the relationship we have. ur just as alive as u ever were.wether u like it or not… people fucking love u man!! rock on and tell mosby i screamed “what!”

  10. I will never forget coming home from school and turning on the TV to see that kurt had died, it changed me as a person, and as a 27 year old professional it still saddens me when I read this, even though I have been reading it for 14 years
    You will never burn out, or fade away

  11. kurt you have always been an inspiration to me. i always listen to your music. the lyrics reach out to me and really tell me what you thought about in your life. i always wish that i couldve meet you. i was born on the year that courtney put too much pressure on you and got in your head and made you kill your self. it wasnt the drugs or gun you used. it was that horrible women that used you. only if i could have meet you. not because of your music but because you and me have so much in common. we do most of the same things. you and me are both wild and daring. i watch all your interveiws. ill never do drugs because my mom and dad convince me and tell me how it can ruin your life. kurt you also told me not to do drugs on the interveiw when you were on metal express, while you were on the boat. you said how stupid it is to do drugs and ill always remember that advise you told me. i feel like i know you. i heard your also a huge john lennon fan. so am i but i look up to you a lot more. and also i heard that you and a lot of your music and lyrics were inspired by the beatles. and did you really live in john lennons garden for about a week then he caught you and he made you breakfast. i saw that on a documentary on john lennon and it showed real live footage of john lennon finding some person hiding in his garden for a week and brang him inside it looked just like you kurt. i think it said it was you. well ill ask you when i meet you in heaven. i love you kurt.

  12. After reading this letter I could not belive how fuckin sad it was. I have Kurt Cobains journal and it failed to have his suicide note. But many “TRUE” NIRVANA fans all say the same fuckin thing Courtney Love had something to do with his death. Im a real big time Kurt Cobain lover and his music will live on forever. R.I.P Kurt Cobain you will always be in our hearts forever. I LOVE YOU KURT!!!!!!!!!

  13. Sense I first got introduced to NIRVANA Kurt was always on my mind. I would wake up thinkin about him and goin to sleep thimkin about him. I have a pic of him on my dashboard in my truck. Kurt has influence me a whole lot.I mostly listin to his music rather than his lyrics. The music is the most powerful. It really touches me every time I hear his music. Kurt is soooo fuckin HOT!!!! And his voice is amazing. I WILL ALWAYS LOVE KURT COBAIN!!!!!!!

  14. kurt is amazing i wish he were still alive if it werent for the freak if kurt was still here he would’ve made somemore great music.i believe courtney killed him.kurt influenced me so much and other peoples lives.
    kurt donald cobain
    feb.20,1967-apr.5,1994 we love you kurt!

  15. whenever kurt touches the guitar he sounds wonderful and every single song he wrote is great and thats what i miss about him.love you kurt!!!

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