Kurt Cobain’s Suicide Note

Kurt Cobain's Handwritten Suicide Note

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand.

All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guity beyond words about these things.

For example when we’re back stage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowds begins., it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love, relish in the the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can’t fool you, any one of you. It simply isn’t fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I’m having 100% fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to appreciate it (and I do,God, believe me I do, but it’s not enough). I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they’re gone. I’m too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.

On our last 3 tours, I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally, and as fans of our music, but I still can’t get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what i used to be, full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can’t stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I’ve become.

I have it good, very good, and I’m grateful, but since the age of seven, I’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along that have empathy. Only because I love and feel sorry for people too much I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I’m too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don’t have the passion anymore, and so remember, it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace, love, empathy.
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll be at your alter.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.


133 responses

  1. he was one of the great artist in his generation im only 3 year old when i hear nirvana. i dont understand the lyrics of their song but now im one of those people worshiping them. i think some of their hits will live forever. cheer up kuya kurt. and that sounds looks like. we miss you kurt.

  2. THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE. IT DOESN’T TAKE A GENIUS TO NOTICE THAT THE LETTER HAD TWO DIFFERENT PENMEN. It is glaringly obvious that Kurt meant the letter to end right after he wrote “peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain”. up until that point the calligraphic style is consistent.

    I have spent 15 years studying typography and calligraphy as a professional graphic designer and it is quite clear that there are two penmanship styles in the letter. Everything after his ending signature was written by a second hand. Even though Kurt was ambidextrous it is noticeable that he always wrote with his left hand, hence his words are naturally slanted towards the right. All the words after Kurt Cobain’s signature were written by a right hand, written right-handedly. To recap:

    1. The slant changes after his signature which indicates a right hand participation.

    2. ambidextrous people do not write with both hands regularly. They just assign tasks to one or the other; writing or using a spoon or playing guitar would always be done by the hand assigned from the beginning (hence, Kurt never picked a right-handed guitar. nor would he write with his right hand)

    3. The penmanship changes from a delicate and orderly manuscript to an inconsistently grotesque and distorted style.

    I cannot point fingers or assert he was murdered in cold blood. The only evidence I can research is this letter and from it I can conclude that it was altered by a second person. This alone makes me doubt everything that has been said officially about Kurt’s death. The fact that somebody intruded and altered this letter is disturbing.

    Personally, I think considering this manuscript a suicide note is preposterous. I can’t even fathom how anybody could mistake it for such. DO THE FOLLOWING EXERCISE YOURSELF: REMOVE EVERYTHING AFTER KURT’S SIGNATURE AND READ THE LETTER OVER AGAIN. I printed it and cut away the last part and this is what I conclude by Kurt’s manuscript:

    1. The letter was addressed to Boddah; psychologically, it is a placeholder since it is actually written to the fans of Nirvana.

    2. He politely ended the letter with “peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain”. He did not mention nor meant to address his daughter, wife, friends, family or bandmates throughout the manuscript.

    3. The only metaphorical phrase in this letter is “better to burn than to fade away”. It is in fact a reference to all the rock bands he loved that burned during the early 80s: Black Sabbath, The Who, Led Zeppelin. These are considered “crash and burn” bands and Kurt wanted Nirvana to do the same. Even his most beloved band The Pixies had broken up a year earlier.

    4. Kurt was a brilliant man, he knew better than suicide. He wanted out of it: the business, the show, the fake, the fame. He loved his daughter above everything else; he was a caring father and to thing that he would give her away because of outside pressure is downright ridiculous.

    This is important to realize because it gives a whole different interpretation to everything related to Nirvana and Kurt Cobain. I choose to believe he did not end his life, I choose to believe he had too much to look forward to. He had the power, respect and money and as Dave Grohl put it in Back and Forth, Kurt was “in a position to do whatever he wanted with his life”.

  3. Kurt was murderded.Up till where it says “peace,love,empathy kurt cobain” it is this hand righting and he signs.After that someone (courtney) writes the rest. If you search Love’s handwriting the Ps and Fs are totaly the same!! If only this was re-examined!!!

  4. the letters h and e toghether are completely different and you can see it even if you blind. the letter b is completely different too and many more. and btw if he took a fatal dose of drugs would have been very hard if not impossible to shoot himself. the reaction time of the drug and the gun should have been like in 1 min or less. now why would a guy that plans to kill himself puts all his drug equipment in the box that neat? if the doze was fatal the syringe, spoon, lighter etc should have been by his side or between his legs not at his foot. also rather odd the gun shot position and the bullet direction. all a big cover.

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